Holding a Strong Resolve, No Matter Who Chooses to Question My Choices; My Future is Mine and Mine Alone to Create (1/23/2020)

God tomorrow is gonna be a long day; honestly writing this blog post tonight, with it only being 1:13AM instead of the usual 3 or 4AM, I’m actually already feeling tired, dreading the thought of waking up tomorrow at 7AM and heading off to go to a meeting at Eataly at 8:30AM; only to go back home, do who knows what for a couple hours, and then come back to work at 3PM. Good stuff. Now going into today, it was actually a fine day at Eataly. After going to bed… unnecessarily late last night, I had hoped to sleep in a bit longer today, but with Brady being over and Julian and him working on music, I was awoken by a piano just around noon, maybe a bit earlier. After rolling around in my bed for a good 10-15 minutes, looking at my phone and deciding what to do, I just closed my phone, rolled back over on my side, and passed back out, waking back up around 1:20. I continued to lay in bed until I finally got up and showered around 1:45, finishing up getting ready and poking my head out into the living room around 2:18PM. I chatted with Julian and Brady for a few minutes before I made my way out and over to the train, catching the 2:33 4 to Manhattan; you know, I don’t know why that, whenever I’m actually running early for once, THAT is the only time the train decides to run late. Like, I sat on the 4 at 3:30, but we didn’t end up leaving until around 2:38, putting the window for me to get to Eataly at a MUCH thinner time frame. As we finally lurched forward into the dark tunnels ahead, I chose to just ignore all else and close my eyes, passing out for a good 15 minutes. By the time I woke up we were arriving at Wall St., so I grabbed my things, got up, and, once we reached Fulton, hurried off the train, feeling MUCH more rested and ready for the day.

Jogging from the train to the World Trade Center, I hurried up the escalators and clocked in right at 3PM, heading onto the floor to start the day. Now I was in section 8 today, so I headed over to Stag, changed into my work shirt, put my bag away, and began rolling for the 30 minutes we had. As the time got closer to 3:30, I noticed that Laura, who was a server who ended up leaving Eataly around a month or so after I started, chatting with Sergio over at the bar. As I headed off for break, I headed over there to say hello, giving her a quick hug before I headed on break; she was actually coming back to work as a server again, so that should be fun. Clocking out for break, I headed over to the break room before immediately heading over to Pret for my usual meal. Today the workers were actually all wearing green, celebrating their veggie meals or something? Not sure but I did lightly make a joke-y commend as I paid for my food. I sat down and relaxed for the 20 minutes I had, watching a couple different videos before finishing my food, getting up, tossing everything, and heading on back to Eataly. After taking a quick bathroom break, I headed over to the 490’s for pre-shift, grabbing a seat as things got started.

The biggest thing we actually went over was this new special we’re running on Sundays, which I actually love the idea for. Basically it is a “family style” option, where if you have at least two people you can order this large portion of food for $35 a person; You’re getting a good amount of pasta, some salads and other apps, and either a cannoli or two scoops of gelato. Honestly, Sundays are really dead, so this option was super exciting to me. With all of this being explained and all of us already devouring the pomodoro displayed in front of us, we headed onto the floor and my shift at last began. Now it wasn’t an insanely busy day today, but I definitely made some pretty solid money; I mean, I made virtually zero cash, but hey- $430+ in cc tips on a Thursday during the off-season is not bad by ANY means. Even though I was in Stag, expecting to get cut earlier on in the night, it actually stayed fairly steady and busy for most of the night, getting in tables ordering a decent amount of food. Now the main table of the night actually came fairly on in the night- these two people, a guy and a lady, the lady of whom seemed to be from Europe, based on the accent she had. Now during the meal she asks me “Where are you from?” and said that she could tell that I wasn’t from NYC because I smiled too much. I think the best part of that statement is the fact that she is nowhere near the first person to have told me that, and it is incredibly true; I am a very happy and positive person, and you just don’t see that from true New Yorkers. Now when the two of them asked me why I was in New Yorker, I of course replied “I’m an actor”. The woman’s response, after chatting for a moment “What’s your back-up plan?” Without missing a beat, I responded that I don’t have one, don’t need one. She reiterated her question, with the man sitting across from her kicking her from under the table, but I just simply stated the fact once more “I don’t have a back-up plan, and I don’t need a back-up plan.” She referenced me being young now, but what about when I’m older; didn’t I realize how much of a speck I am in New York City? Now she didn’t say this maliciously, and I didn’t take it as such, but the fact of the matter is- that’s the beauty of New York, and the thrill of acting, right? I mean it is a 1 in a million chance to really succeed in this industry, yet here I am pouring my all into pursuing it; especially now with it being a new year.

Honestly this woman is not the first person to question me about having a back-up plan; I mean I’ve had other people ask me the same thing, including one of my exes, and I don’t mind the question. I mean the logical idea is to make sure to have a back-up plan, just in case acting doesn’t pan out. But I don’t work logically; it makes life much more interesting, even if much more anxious at times. But the fact of the matter is that I have not, do not, and will not ever have a back-up plan for acting, because I know that it is my true calling. There is no feeling I have ever experienced that will even get close to performing. It is this adrenaline rush that just runs through my veins, and I fucking love it. This woman’s questions didn’t phase me because I am not so weak in my resolve that her saying this would spiral me out of control. You can call it youthful naivety or ignorance, but I consider it one of my greatest strengths; the strength to never give up, no matter how much the odds are stacked against me. Honestly having people tell me I can’t do this and try and pull me down just makes me even more excited and strong in my resolve, because I can’t wait to prove them all wrong; I love the thrill of such a difficult challenge, what can I say?

With those two finally leaving the day was pretty much set, and the rest of the shift went by fairly smoothly. I mean I did get quite busy at one point, but frankly I never really felt behind on anything, and with a bit of help from the server in the section next to me, Rey, I got through it all with ease. By 9:30PM I was already putting away all the wine in Stag and dumping ice, getting started on roll-ups as my final table closed out. Right at 9:50 I even ordered myself a lasagna- because why not- and by 10:23 roll-ups were done, I got my numbers in, and headed on out towards the train. Catching the next 4 to Brooklyn, I got off at Utica and made it back to my apartment by 11PM, finding Andrew alone watching some video about Kingdom Hearts. Julian was apparently out on a date, so I sat down and enjoyed my dinner as I watched Andrew get frustrated fighting some incredibly difficult bosses in the new DLC that just dropped last night. Julian eventually got back, and we all chatted for a little bit, partly about his date, partly about Kingdom Hearts, before Julian and I headed into our rooms. During our conversation, Andrew actually mentioned how he loves the music that emanates from my room at night, which I appreciate because I think it’s damn good music. Basically as I’m writing these blog posts, I’ve started always listening to some LoFi music on YouTube, which help me focus and just concentrate on my writing instead of anything else. It also really calms me down and helps me decompress from the day, which is really great. Now it may only be 1:54, but I actually have to be up just after 7AM to get ready and leave for this meeting at Eataly at 8:30. God it’s gonna be a long day- wish me luck.

Until next time,


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