A Step in the Right Direction Towards a Better Me (1/15/2020)

Everyone, I did it; somehow, some way… I actually went to the gym! I know that may not seem like the biggest thing in the world, but the fact of the matter is that I genuinely haven’t gone to the gym since I graduated college in May of 2018. That means I have not managed to bring myself to the gym in nearly TWO YEARS. I continuously used excuse after excuse, from just having moved to New York and trying to get comfortable, to being busy with my new job at Emma’s Torch and the showcase, to having a girlfriend, to being broke, to working a new job, I just kept finding excuses just so I wouldn’t have to work out. I mean late in 2019 I was actually planning on finally going to the gym and getting a membership, but when I found out I was being kicked out of my apartment, I kind of let it go again, knowing that I’d be gone in a month anyways, and my new apartment might not have the same gyms. Once I moved to Brooklyn… well I was getting used to the new location, then it was the holiday season; again more meaningless excuses just so I could be lazy and not have to work out. Honestly digging into the root of the issue, I’ve always been nervous about going to the gym, you know? I’m a lanky, scrawny dude who even looks like he’s never set foot in a gym; I mean I can run pretty fast, but I more get that through genetics and running to get to work because I’m late, not from going to the gym. Now in 2018 I did take a gym class my final semester at FDU, but even then I had zero idea what I was doing; I don’t know the proper workouts to build muscle, how many times I should be doing them, if I’m even doing them right. There’s so much about the gym that I just… don’t get, and it’s intimidating. Once I’m there, I don’t care as much about other people, because for the most part people do their own shit and ignore you, but that’s more when I’m on the treadmill. I mean, I KNOW what I’m doing there, but when it comes to using literally any other machine? I’m clueless.

That’s why I was so excited in 2019, and especially when I moved into my new apartment, about Blink. The fact that there are relatively cheap personal trainers that have 30 minute sessions is super exciting. For me, the idea of having a personal trainer to help me as I go through training has always been ideal, right? Like, I feel like I’m gonna push myself WAY more if I’m having someone show me what to do, and more importantly- push me past my limits. I don’t want to be incredibly beefy or bulky, because that’s just not who I am. What I DO want is to be much more toned, and have proper muscular definition across my body; to have a really good looking body. Now I will say that I am grateful that I don’t hate my body; I can see where I’d like to improve, but I am happy with how I look now. However, it’s kind of always been this secret, almost selfish desire to be just, casually changing one day, I take off my shirt, and someone goes “Holy shit, you’re ripped!” Like have someone be surprised that this lanky white boy is actually really fit? A huge goal. I mean, I’ve always been seen as this “cute” guy, normally used in a familial, “younger brother” sense, but to have someone genuinely think I’m hot? I dunno, I think it’d be a good ego boost for me. But more than that, I’m doing it for me, to feel healthier. Also I genuinely want to run the NYC Marathon this November, and I think the best way to get ready for it is to start going to the gym. You know, watching it in 2018 was really cool, but in 2019 when it happened, I was genuinely iching to do it myself. The biggest thing is that you have to actually apply for the race at the end of January, so there would’ve been no way for me to run it last year, but this year there is no excuse. (Well, other than if I don’t get picked to run, which can happen) And if I don’t get picked? I mean I won’t be discouraged, and I’ll keep going to the gym, but having this idea in mind is well, it’s exciting!

Now with these two rambling paragraphs aside, I am happy I went to the gym today. I had told myself that I would go, since I was off today, but as I got up at 1PM, I genuinely… didn’t want to leave the apartment. By the time I had actually gotten up and left my room, Andrew had left for his interview at Emma’s Torch, and I wanted to be here by the time he got back, so I could hear how it went. Around 2PM Andrew texted saying he was on his way back, so I quickly hurried off to Subway to get a sandwich before hurrying back, curious if we’d cross paths. By the time I got back inside Andrew was already back, and I asked him what happened; I was genuinely very curious. He said the interview went really well, and they had offered him a starting position as server assistant, and told him he’d be able to move up to server when he proved himself. (Not to those exact words of course, but you get what I’m saying) I was really excited for him; I mean Andrew’s been stressing about finding a job for a good week or two now, and the fact he gets to work in a place that I genuinely loved, and still do, because of the incredible message and staff (besides a select person), it’s just such a wonderful feeling. Julian came out of his room, after having taken a nap, and the three of us just kind of hung out for a bit, until Julian goes “I’m gonna get something from the bodega, do either of you want to come? The perfect excuse to get out of the apartment and work out. “Just give me five minutes, I’ll walk with ya and go to the gym”. Andrew decided to come along as well, and so I grabbed a pair of shorts, threw them in my bag, and made my way over to the gym at long last.

Arriving at Blink, I took the stairs up to the third floor, where it’s actually located, and chatted with the guy at the front desk. I got my picture taken for a computer id, and even signed up for my free personal training session; it’s actually happening this Sunday at 4PM, and I’m equally excited and nervous as hell. After he quickly pointed out where everything was, I headed off into the men’s locker room, where I… well I used the bathroom, got changed into my shorts, and headed back out towards the equipment. Today I figured it was best to start very basic at what I know, so I just headed over to the treadmills, got on, and off I went. Now I started the machine at 2, but after maybe a minute or two I decided to crank it up, and ended up running at 7.5 for just about 30 minutes. I like to think that this helps improve my endurance, and I like seeing just how long I can go. There was definitely a couple of times where I was prepped to just call it quits, but I pushed through it and actually made it to my goal of 30 minutes, before cooling down. Side note- Legally Blonde the Musical is a FANTASTIC playlist to listen to as your zoning out and running. By the end of my run, I was VISIBLY sweating- which never happens to me- and even though I definitely felt a bit winded and tired from all that running, it was satisfying to set a goal and actually accomplish it, you know? Grabbing my bag, I ended the run by cooling down before walking out and back towards my apartment. I debated changing back into my pants, but honestly…. fuck it. By the time I got back to the apartment Andrew was watching Marriage Story and Julian was still finishing up some work from home, so I decided to play some League for a bit. Around 7 or 8 Julian ordered pizza, and the three of us turned to High School Musical the Musical the Series for some entertainment; I mean it’s not GOOD, but damn am I hooked at this point. Once we finished that, Julian and I watched the most recent two episodes of My Hero Academia- which side note, holy fuck episode 13 like godDAMN- before he went to bed, Andrew continued playing a Zelda game, and I played some more League. Surprisingly enough it’s actually only 3:37AM tonight, but I am getting more and more sleepy by the second, so I definitely need to pass out. I really hope that this year is my year, not only for physical self growth, but also some extreme growth when it comes to my acting career. I can’t get complacent now, I want, and am going to, start booking and acting again.

Until next time,

-Michael

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**Not too terrible for my first real run in about two years!

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