Attack of the Gremlins (12/14/19)

Today’s coming at ya straight out of a 50’s horror movie- “Attack of the Gremlins”. Except unlike movies, these “gremlins” were just in fact misbehaving children whose parents chose to just let them run rampant through our restaurant. God I really hate kids sometimes. I mean don’t get me wrong, there are some kids that I see and go “fuck I really wanna have kids someday.” And then I see these little spawns of Satan and go “Yeah I’ll fucking wait”. But I’ll get into all of that as the story progresses. Now, starting at the beginning, today I woke up a bit past 1PM with Julian asking if he could borrow some quarters; now what we were told at the beginning of this week was that laundry should be getting installed by Friday. Aka yesterday. Low and behold it’s Saturday and surprise surprise- nothing is there yet. Now Julian was putting off doing his laundry for a good while, just like I was doing last week, but unfortunately it was time to bite the bullet and get his laundry done; you need clothes apparently. I gave him the quarters I had and he was off, leaving me to shower and get ready for work. Unsurprisingly I ended up running a bit late, with me watching some YouTube videos before finally getting up to shower at 1:50. By the time I got washed up and dressed, it was already 2:26 and I was definitely missing my 2:32 4 train to Manhattan. That thought was confirmed when I made it to the train station to find that the next train would not be arriving until 2:41. Aka I was going to be late to work today. Damn.

With the 4 finally pulling into the station, I hopped on and grabbed a seat, closing my eyes and listen to music as the train came to life and we pushed forward into the dark tunnels ahead. By the time we made it to Manhattan and to Fulton St., it was already hitting 3:03, so I had to jog a bit to make it to work without being too incredibly late. I really didn’t notice, but getting into the revolving doors I ended up cutting in front of an older woman, with this being pointed out to me by my manager Nicolette once I made it to Eataly. As I hurried up the stairs, I ended up spotting Halima, who was actually running late because she got on the train going to the wrong direction, but thankfully we both managed to clock in at 3:05 and hit the floor. Today I was in section 10, which meant I would be rolling today; thank god. I always feel bad when I’m running late and am either helping out with wine and ice or lowboys, because the other person has to put in even more effort to get everything done. I’ve had it happen to me before and it’s fine, but like it can be quite a bit to do by yourself. But since I was rolling up today, I just headed over to Stag, threw on my shirt, put away my bag, and started rolling until 3:30. After getting flamed by Nicolette for cutting in front of an old lady, I made my way over to a computer and clocked out, heading to the break room prepped for the mystery meal of the day. Now normally on Saturdays it’s something interesting; pasta, beef, who knows. Today however… it was tuna. And here I thought only Mondays were tuna day; no thank you. With that, I quickly made my way over to Pret, where I got my usual meal and grabbed a seat, ready to enjoy my 25 minutes or so of peace; side note, I really appreciate the Pret workers, and how they just know me at this point. One of them working at the front saw me and instantly got me my chocolate chip cookie before I even asked for it. Now does this mean I go to Pret waaaay too often? Absolutely. Do I still appreciate it? You bet your ass I do. I spent those 25 minutes watching YouTube videos, and even stumbling upon a pretty funny comedian whose comedy special is on YouTube; maybe I’ll check it out at some point.

With time running short on my break, I headed on back to Eataly, taking a short bathroom break before clocking in and heading over to pre-shift. Now today was Saturday, which meant it was time to receive our weekly lesson about something in the store, presented by Eataly’s own Emily. On this week’s agenda? Cheese! Hey man, getting to try cheese doesn’t sound like the worst way to spend a pre-shift, so I didn’t mind. After Emily had finished, Nicolette quickly went over the new dessert we have running- panettone- and we hit the floor. Now 10 is not a very big section, and frankly I really didn’t get too busy tonight. I still made some decent money, but for the most part I just got some larger tables and that was that. Normally I’d be fine with it, but for some reason or another, SO many of my tables today consisted of kids. Hence- “Attack of the Gremlins”. Seriously though, if kids are well behaved and polite, I don’t really care. But especially with my first table, oh my GOD. Like these kids were being disruptive, walking all over the place, sitting at one of our high tops right next to some of my other guests; just causing such a disturbance. What didn’t help was the fact that the parents and grown ups at the table were just so damn rude. Tried to get their kids to behave, but like… did they really try though? These kids even kept touching our wine glasses, which no get your greasy dirty hands off of that shit, roaming in our areas, and just being in everyone else’s space. Now I get it, these kids have a bunch of energy, but this is a restaurant, not McDonald’s. Thankfully, THANKFULLY the table ended up tipping me pretty decently, but still… I was so grateful when they left. I also had another table with this kid who was going BALLISTIC- crying and throwing shit- but the parents at least apologized and the dad called them “goblins” or something to that effect. Pretty accurate if you ask me. Now the other table that got under my skin actually were three European millennials. The bill ended up coming up to be just over $100, and they gave me a $20 and two cards. Now I asked them how they wanted it split, and they go “cash first, $40 on one card, and the rest on the other”. Just so you know, tip is not included. “I’ll give you cash.” Oh, so is the $20 the tip? “No I’ll give you some”. Okay. So I do all of this- cash first, followed by the two cards- and what do they end up tipping me? $3. THREE FUCKING DOLLARS. Like just split the bill equally and GIVE ME THE $20 AS A TIP. GOd that was just so disrespectful. Whatever.

All of that being said, my day finally came to an end and it was time to start rolling. I also noticed that no wines had really been put away yet, so I took some time to do that, because I knew other servers were busy closing out their final tables. Now I thought we’d get out at a half decent time, but then I saw that we had not one, not two, but FIVE buckets of silverware to get through. Great. With the help of the entire team, we managed to bang all that shit out by 11PM but still… feels bad man. After rolling the final silverware, I got my numbers, got my bag, and got outta there; today I ended up hitting like $350 in cc and $60 or something in cash, which is definitely not bad, given how slow my section was tonight. Still felt weird in comparison to what the fuck I’ve been dealing with earlier this week with some of the other sections. Clocking out, I headed off to the train, calling Maggie because I mean I needed to congratulate her; she just got engaged! I mean I knew it was gonna happen some point soon, because her boyfriend… er fiance rather, Devon asked my dad, my brother Jake, and my permission, which I love, but when she sent a picture of the ring. Honestly, despite it making me feel even more single, I’m so happy for them. I obviously love and am very protective of my twin, but Devon is such a wonderful guy and I know they love each other so much. My heart is so full; We love love. After the congratulations, with Maggie telling me it was my job to pass on the family name, which made me want to vomit and die, I headed off and was on my way home at last. Arriving at Crown Heights just before 11:40, I walked over to the Bodega, got myself a turkey and cheese again, grabbed Julian a six pack of beer at his request, and headed on back to my apartment. As I settled in, Julian and I ended up chatting for a good while, also listening to the soundtrack of Cats which I haven’t heard in a long long time, and what the fuck it’s literally a horror movie. Like what in the fresh hell is that music? God no thank you. With time hitting 2AM, Julian headed off to bed, and I’ve just been relaxing; playing League and listening to some LoFi music. Seriously I’m in such a mood for it at the moment; it’s so comforting and helps me to zone out and focus- oxymoron I know- on whatever I’m doing, whether it’s playing League or writing this blogpost. Tomorrow it’s Sunday, but with me not being off until Wednesday, it’s basically my… Wednesday. Time to get some sleep.

Until next time,

-Michael

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