A Day Spent Debating I’m Doing Something… Or Nothing (11/27/19)

You know, I planned on going to bed right after I finished my blog post last night. I was a bit tired, and since I was in my bed already, all I had to do was lie down and get some sleep. Well I had to brush my teeth and whatever, but besides that… However, right before I was about to get ready for bed, I got a text; so to provide context, I texted Gina in the evening, just making sure she was okay, but in the end she never responded. Check back in at 4AM and she texts me back, saying that she had passed out right as she got home. We ended up texted for a good part of an hour, mostly about what happened today, before I needed to head off and get some sleep; was still a good time though, always nice to talk to a friend. Because of this however, I didn’t go to bed until just past 5, so I definitely wasn’t getting up at a reasonable time today. I did wake up around 12:30, but ended up just lying I bed for the good part of a few hours before I had to get food- I was starving.

Finally getting myself up, I just threw on some clothes and a beanie and made my way outside. I listened to some music during my walk, and before long I had arrived at Subway. Now as I was ordering my food, there was this customer who was just like… yelling at the workers? Real rude fellow. Thankfully he finally got his food and left, and since I had headphones in I really couldn’t understand what he was yelling about, but still- respect people in the service industry, well and people anywhere. I guess just follow the simple rule of “Don’t be a dick” and you’ll be fine? Anyways, I got my food and made my way out and back home. As I got back to my apartment, I saw Eddie and chatted with him for a moment. He asked if I needed anything re-painted in the apartment, so I made my way up to look around. I mean probably not, or at least nothing major, but I might as well. After a quick look around, I messaged Eddie, saying that in fact there were just a few spots around the door frames of the bathrooms, and soon enough a painter came through and did some retouches; As the man quickly worked, I just sat around, eating my lunch.

Before too long the gentleman left and I was left alone to my own devices once more. Frankly I didn’t do much for the next couple of hours, though I did text that girl a bit. Finally, after realizing no stores were really gonna be open tomorrow- since it was Thanksgiving and all, I finally got showered and washed up, and after once dressed, made my way into Manhattan. There wasn’t too much I needed to do, but I figured I might as well, right? I ended up stopping by H&M first, picking up some underwear and socks; basically the washer and dryer isn’t going to be ready until this Sunday- hopefully- and I am running desperately low on clothes. I COULD just go to a local laundromat, but fuck it. After paying, I headed over to Target where I bought some frozen meals, some cookies, and a couple necessities for the apartment. Stepping back outside, seeing the word “Believe” displayed on the face of the Macy’s building, I truly couldn’t believe that it had already been a year. Oh I also forgot to mention that before I stopped by H&M, I did walk around a Papyrus store for a couple of minutes, looking for a card. Honestly I’ve been going back and forth whether or not I should send a card to my ex for her birthday; I mean I know it’s a terrible idea and I should just keep working to move on, but I’ve made up my mind that I’m never just going to turn my back on a person. Once I send the letter, that’s going to be it, at least for a long time. She will most likely not respond, and maybe she won’t even get it, but that’s fine. As long as I sent it, not filled with emotion and pain but with just a simple message, with that one brick I will at least lay down the plans if a bridge is ever to be built again.

However, despite all this, I never really found a card that I figured would work. I mean I still have time- I don’t plan on sending the card until like the 3rd or something- so for now I’ll just relax and try to breathe; continue moving forward. Finally having my errands completed, I made my way back home, making it into my apartment around 9, heating up one of my frozen dinners, cutting up an apple I bought, and finishing up binging The End of the Fucking World. Damn the second season was spicy. I mean the show definitely started off slow, but after episode 3 of season 1? I mean it took off and didn’t really stop. At around midnight I decided to play Persona 5 for a bit, and am now just sitting in the living room in my gaming chair, writing this blog before I head off to bed. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, so I’m going to try and wake up early to see the Macy’s Day Parade. Apparently they might not fly the balloons because of the wind, but I’m gonna keep my fingers crossed.

Until next time,


*What a beautiful Autumn day in Brooklyn

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