Well I guess you can have the debate of whether the week starts on Sunday or Monday, but that’s besides the point… and I guess it really isn’t the end of my week because I work tomorrow, but fuck it. Honestly there really isn’t much to report on today- it was a slow Sunday evening and I left work before 8PM. Exciting, I know. I mean I will say that my paychecks gonna take a hit next week, since I only worked four days this week, but it is what it is. Now today started off a bit rough. I mean I woke up around 11 I think, to a dream that I’m not crazy about- basically in the dream I spotted my ex, Elle, hanging out with her friends, and she seemed to be with another guy. Now I know we all move on, and that’s great, but it’s always hard seeing an ex date someone else. I’m working to get over her, sure, but that dream was still not a pleasant one to have to say the least. I will say however, that that dream did push me to a realization; a realization I’ve been beginning to have these past few days. I feel like up to this point I’ve just looked at my past relationships ending and been like- “wow this sucks and I’m sad; time to work to move on”, but in doing that, have I really been putting in the effort to improve what I failed on in that relationship? Am I fixing the problems I caused? Working to become a better person? I kept thinking about how to win back an ex, or just ignore and move on, but like if I did manage to get the opportunity to even GET a second chance? Would I still be the person that they wanted to break up with? Or would I be someone worth giving another chance to.
I know that was kind of really long-winded, and it’s kind of hard to put into words exactly what I’m trying to say, but I hope you still can… sort of understand and get it. What caused the ending of my relationships? How did I drive these women I cared about away? At the surface sure it’s just me going to hard on the sell, and scaring them off, but deep down it’s feeling like I’m nothing without them. Feeling like the best part of my life is them and they are the most important thing. I mean sure it sounds great, but it’s not healthy. I truly hate that that’s how I think, but when things were going badly, especially in my last relationship, I leaned to hard on her and drove a rift between us. Now I don’t truly think she will ever actually give me, even an opportunity for a second chance, but the fact still remains that I want to improve myself and become better, so whoever comes next won’t become overwhelmed and want to get away. Deep thoughts at 2:43 in the morning, I know.
Now getting back to today, after waking up from that dream and taking a leak, I headed back to bed, waking up at 1:20 and panicking because I was going to be late for work… except work starts at 3, not 2. Realizing this and taking a deep breath of relief, I settled back in bed and relaxed for way too long, still ending up running late. The water pressure still is not great, but I had to shower in leave, so that’s exactly what I did; I finished showering like just after 2PM, washed up, got dressed, and left the house at 2:19. I ended up catching the 2:33 train to Manhattan, where I somehow still managed to arrive at Fulton at 2:53, even after a delay held us up for a good three to five minutes; like damn I love how short this commute is it’s awesome! Quickly walking to Eataly, I clocked in at 2:58, heading over past Stag, putting on my work shirt, and headed onto the floor to start my side-work of the day- lowboys.
Honestly the 30 minutes went by as quickly as usual, with me mostly focusing on stocking up all the bottles of water before moving to sodas. As the time his 3:27, I grabbed my bag and headed on out, clocking out and heading over to Pret for some lunch. I did poke my head into the break-room, but after seeing only hotdogs for lunch, I just grabbed a chip and headed off. At Pret, I got my usual meal before making my way and sitting down to enjoy my peace and quiet for a little while. I ended up watching some SNL skits, ending my break watching the Pentatonix “Daft Punk” music video; god they are all so fucking talented. Throwing out my trash, I headed on back to Pret, taking a quick bathroom break before clocking back in and heading over to pre-shift.
The best thing to report from the pre-shift today? Today is the last day of Restaurant-Fest thank GOD. I mean the pre-fix menu was definitely a bit annoying, but godDAMN were the $25 bottles of wine killer. We didn’t have any specials so we hit the floor pretty quickly, but just as I was about to walk to my section, Sergio told me the kitchen actually DID have a pasta special, so I headed over to the counter to hear what it was. Basically it was a simple tagliolini pasta, with a lemon butter sauce and Alaskan King Crab for $25. Definitely tasted pretty good, and with this new knowledge in hand, I hit the floor to start my day. As for the day itself? I mean the most eventful thing was having the same finger I cut yesterday somehow, get cut AGAIN on the outside of the same finger, in the same area. So putting on a band-aid meant that I’d just be covering one of the two cuts with just the sticky part… fuck. How did I hurt myself this time you might ask? Grating cheese. Not. A fun. Time. Well the hurting myself bit; grating cheese is kinda fun.
At around 7:00 one of the managers, Nicolette, asked if I wanted to go home. She offered Lily the chance to go home but she refused so now I got the opportunity to do so. I of course accepted, and within an hour I was putting in my numbers and heading on home. I really didn’t make much money tonight, but honestly it is what it is. Also side note- one of our managers, Emily, left this morning. She had already said goodbye yesterday, but it was still sad that she was gone. Added onto the fact that the other manager that just got here, Brittany, was gone too, and now we’re down to two managers again. Big yikes. Hopefully they can find someone by the time busy season really kicks in.
After a quick train ride home, I stopped by the Bodega down the street, bought a burger, and headed back to my apartment. As for the rest of the night? Honestly I just hung out with Julian in our common area for a while, playing some video games on my PS4 before he called it a night and I headed into my room to relax. It’s now 3AM, so I definitely should get to bed, but I am happy to say that I’m meeting up with Liz for drinks on Tuesday, which should be fun. First I have to get through tomorrow, which means I’m gonna be waking up and calling Verizon, hopefully getting them to INSTALL MY FUCKING INTERNET. Seriously it’s been a struggle.
Until next time,