So last night I had a dream, which to be fair probably got affected because I looked at one of my exes’ friends’ Facebook page right before I got to bed, but it was definitely something interesting. Now to provide context, I looked at my ex’s friend’s Facebook page because, well because I wasn’t thinking and curiosity got the best of me. The first thing I noticed was that their friend group went pumpkin picking I guess, and it made me smile to see my ex doing well. I know that might not make sense for some people, who enjoy seeing their exes having a terrible time, but at the end of the day, I don’t wish anything bad would happen to her. Do I hope that maybe one day I can rekindle a friendship with her? I mean sure; I think we vibed very well together. But I also am just a person who likes seeing other people happy. Now what made me curious though was I didn’t see the friend with her boyfriend. Now I know they were having troubles in the past, and I think that did frustrate me because I think me and my ex had a better relationship that ended much sooner- just kidding that’s just called jealousy lol- but when I did some digging I guess her and her boyfriend broke up, because there are no pictures with him on her page anymore. Big yikes. Also really side note, but I actually paused right after that last sentence and archived/ made private every picture with me and my exes. Well I left up a picture or two with my ex, Liz, whom I dated when I studied abroad in Wroxton, mostly because they’re actually really great pictures. Also her and I are kind of friends again, so I don’t feel as uncomfortable leaving them up. But as for the other two? Might as well keep them from the public eye. Now, I’ll still see them when I scroll down and look at pictures, but no one else will, and I’m okay with that. Up until this point, I’ve been very adamant about not taking down pictures of my exes, because they’re a part of me and my past, but I’ve reached a point where I think it’s just healthier to make the pictures private and try working on moving on; they have, why shouldn’t I? That doesn’t mean I’ll treasure the time I spent with them any less, but what it does mean is I’m trying to restore my own mental and emotional health. At some point I need to start putting myself first, and allowing myself to be selfish. Now as for the dream, it was mostly that I went back to my most recent ex’s school to go see a show, and she god angry at me for being there. I expressed that I was only there to support the school, and she seemed to cool down a bit. She did tell me that she basically didn’t want to even be friends with me, so that was a fun one to hear, but shit happens. Did I expect to have a dream about her, thanks to looking at her friends’ profile page last night? Kind of. Was I a fan of having said dream? Absolutely not. Never fun.
Now once I awoke from my dream, I decided to just relax in bed for a good while, before it was time to actually get up and start my day. I was supposed to meet up with Andrew at 1PM to help him film a self-tape for a short film, so at right before 1, because of course, I finally got myself up, washed up, got dressed, and left; I actually didn’t even take a shower before I left, because I was running so far behind on time. Now before I actually got myself up and out of bed, I made the big decision to finally pay for my new phone, since it was available for pick-up at 59th and 5th. Now I may have dropped over $1300, but I finally, FINALLY, had a new iPhone- the iPhone 11Pro. God I was excited. Now I did actually run over to Andrew’s, making it just after 1:30, and once he let me inside, I went upstairs with him so we could get started. I forgot to grab something to eat on the way there, but I decided to just suck it up and eat something later on in the day. After we relaxed for a bit, chatting about potential apartments and setting up appointments to look at a few options, we got to filming Andrew’s self-tape. It took a good hour, hour and a half, but we got it down right; Man I miss acting. I really hope I start booking soon, because I really want to get into things. Also! Really side note but I actually set up an OkCupid profile again, because I think it’s finally time to work to move on. It’s been over five months for God’s sake; like I said before- she’s moved on, why shouldn’t I at least work to try to?
Now as Andrew and I finished up the final take, I mentioned that I hadn’t eaten anything today, and so he offered me a hot pocket. Listen, I will not say no to free food, especially not a Hot Pocket. I made us both one, both being a chicken and broccoli sandwich, and honestly? Eh, it wasn’t terrible. Hot Pockets are definitely not something that I would just go out and buy, but when I’m starving it will do the job. I said goodbye and headed back home, just to grab my bag with my charger inside, (my phone was running a bit low on battery), before heading back out and catching the A train downtown. There were a few pauses and delays as the ride progressed, but this meant that I was actually able to get a few minutes of shut-eye, which I definitely enjoyed. Once we arrived at 59th St., I found my way off the train, out of the station, and walking towards 5th Ave. I was scheduled to pick up my new iPhone from 5:30-6PM, and since it was already around 5:40, I had to hurry. Unlike last time, there wasn’t a line outside the door to the store, so I just headed down the long staircase and stood in line to chat with an Apple employee. After chatting with the guy, I found out that I had been standing in the line for repairs for the past 5 or so minutes- great job me- and was quickly re-directed to the pick-up spot. After a bit of waiting, I chatted with an another Apple employee who had someone bring over my new phone. I asked where I could pick up a case and screen protector for the phone, and was sent over to another wall, where another employee really helped me out. Thankfully both the case and glass screen protector were in stock, so he had someone bring it to us from the back as we hung out and chatted for a bit. Unsurprisingly, he was an actor as well, and had just moved to the city in August. Shoutout to when I first moved to the city and tried getting a job at Apple. Yeah, that never happened. At last the case and screen protector arrived, and after he put both on for me, because I was genuinely so nervous to touch this phone, I was on my way.
Now I had to wait until I got home to actually set my new phone up, because I need wifi, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t admire how goddamn beautiful it was. The issue I’m still having is that even though it is technically connected to data, my cell number isn’t connected to the new phone, so I haven’t been receiving all texts. Definitely a bit annoying, but also that’s a small issue that I should be able to fix relatively quickly, once I contact Verizon. Now for the rest of the day, I’ve of course been relaxing in my apartment. I bought dinner around 9:30 from Subway, because I am just not in the mood to cook, but I keep pushing back putting all my cash into the bank. I really should roll all my coins, but I need to buy rolls for that, so that’s something else I gotta do. Now one thing I did do tonight, and when I say tonight I mean starting at like 2AM, was do laundry; like sheets, towels, and clothes. I got it finished right before 4AM, playing some League after each cycle, because I needed some way to pass the time. I was hoping to write this post a bit sooner tonight, but I got distracted cleansing my Facebook and Instagram, and then I felt the need to check to see if any of my ex’s friends still followed me on Instagram. Hint: they don’t. Her sister does though, which threw me off a bit. Also they’re still friends with me on Facebook, though my ex of course has me blocked on that platform. Fun times; real mature. Well, I get it though. It’s cold as fuck to be sure, but I get it. All this looking back on the past did make me wonder if I’ve grown since she ended things with me, and honestly? I’m not sure. I hope I have. I like to think I’ve become a stronger person, but I’m of course going to have a bias. ALSO I forgot to mention! I checked for mail today and the clothing set that I ordered from Stitch Fix finally came in! I had no idea what to expect, since they obviously don’t show you the outfit before it arrives, but I actually kind of really like it! I mean they sent me shoes, jeans, a sweater, a button-up, and a jacket, which if I choose to keep all of them will run me $250. Not bad! I wasn’t sure how I felt about it all at first, but it really started to grow on me. Honestly I’m just excited to have a new option when it comes to my fashion sense, which let’s be honest I don’t have much of at all. Now it’s already 5AM and I got work tomorrow, so that means it’s time to get some much needed rest. In freshly cleaned sheets no less! Can’t wait.
Until next time,