Early Mornings, Slow Days, Late Nights; Why Do I Do This to Myself? (7/7/19)

So I’m writing this blog post at 3AM, after playing League for like 5 hours and losing basically every game tonight. I am beyond tilted, so I just need to cool off and get some sleep. However, today was honestly a good day for me; even though I had to be to work early in the morning and I was tired, the day itself was not bad at all. I woke up at 7:30, relaxed in bed for a bit until I had to get up, took a shower, got ready, and headed off to work. I napped on the train as I always do, and made it to work a few minutes before 9. Today I was on low-boys duty, so I spent the half hour making sure everything was looking good for the start of the day. Just like yesterday I was in section 3, which is right in front of the hostess stand. I was expecting it to be a bit busy, but honestly I was ready for it. After 30 minutes I took my break, heading to Pret for my normal breakfast meal, ending it with a donut from Dunkin’, and then headed back to work, clocking back in and sitting down for pre-shift.

After pre-shift was over, I used the bathroom and then the day began for me. Now it’s a Sunday, so I was thinking maybe we might get busy; but to my surprise, it was generally quite slow today! I mean sure it picked up at points throughout the day, but nothing crazy. None of my tables had a bad time, though I did have one table where I put in the wrong pizza, but it was fine in the end. The main thing was that I had one table, which one of the patrons actually works at the other Eataly in NYC, and he ordered a bottle of Prosecco. Now the only Prosecco bottles we had were in the vikings, so I grabbed one and put it in ice to chill for a bit, hoping that it wouldn’t erupt on me like the first time I attempted to open a bottle of Prosecco at Eataly. After a bit, I took it out, but to my dismay it still overflowed; not much, but still a bit. Luckily the guy didn’t care and the table took the bottle and that was that! Before I knew it, it was already 4:30 and it was time for me to close things down. I transferred my tables to the server working my section for dinner, and headed off to polish and roll, so I could head home. Today we had a giant rolling party because we had no silverware on the floor, which we love, and I managed to get my stuff done and get out of there by 5:40.

I headed home and have just been relaxing for the rest of the day honestly. When I got off the train, I made a pit-stop at Subway to pick up dinner because I didn’t feel like cooking, and then I spent the next while watching esports; aka professional League. My team actually beat their rival for the first time in like 1700 days, so like, good times all around. As the time hit 9:30, it was time for some DnD. I have a game running with my brother Jake, my sister’s boyfriend Devon, and then one of Jake’s friends Kimz, but we haven’t played in a good while because everyone’s been busy as all hell. Today we just went through some story stuff, but let’s just say I don’t think Jake was expecting us to, instead of just knock on a door and talk to a woman to get some answers, break in, knock the woman out, and threaten to murder her. Yeah DnD is weird. We had a great time though, and before I knew it, it was already 11:30 and we wrapped it all up for the night.

Now as I said in the beginning, it’s now past 3AM, and I’ve just been playing and losing League games all night, so I’m not in the best head space. Now something I did want to mention is that today I actually also reached out to my voice teacher. I haven’t taken lessons in like 9 months or something, like I haven’t done anything since the end of last year I think; you know, because I was broke as fuck, but I really want to get back into honing my voice again. Talking with Andrew on Friday definitely helped as well. but yeah, hopefully I’ll be meeting up with him on Tuesday, so we’ll see! As for the letter, I checked the mail after I got back with my Subway sub, but of course the mailbox was empty and there was no mail on our counter for me. I really have given up at this point, but have I really if I keep checking the mailbox? At the end of the day she either hasn’t seen my letter, or she has and has probably just chosen not to respond. Either way it feels bad as hell, but there’s nothing I can do about it. What she does with that letter is her choice. If she wants me to not be a part of her life in the slightest, she has every right to do so. What matters more than anything else is that at the end of the day she’s happy. Sucks for me, but I guess that’s life. Does this mean I’m going to stop checking the mail every day, even though I know it’s just going to be empty? Absolutely not. I will keep doing it because I got to. But yeah, the future is uncertain and I have no idea what I’m doing. But we all knew that already.

Until next time,


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