Sitting in the Loading Screen for the Next Level (6/18/19)

Today was my day off before I finish out my training at Eataly tomorrow at 9:30. I actually debated holding off writing this until tomorrow, because it’s already past 11:30 and I need sleep, but fuck it. So today started off really terribly, to be honest with you, not because I received bad news or anything, but solely because I had a fucking terrible dream, which ended with me waking up with tears running down my face. Basically in the dream, me, my brother, sister, and dad were all on a giant cruise ship (think the Titanic). Now everything was going fine until it was announced that a tsunami was going to hit us, and we were all going to die. They asked for women and children first, but Maggie hung behind with my dad, while Jake and I attempted to escape via a giant soccer ball? I don’t know, dreams are weird. Now Jake and I made it to the safety raft, but I realized Maggie and dad were still on the ship, and I wasn’t going to live if they died. So I headed back to be with them in the end. Once I got there, I called Jake because I wanted him to be with us to, but then all of a sudden I see Jake zooming to us on his roller blades, and the four of us are together again. Suddenly the ship goes almost upright and water starts flowing in, and that life raft? Yeah destroyed by the tsunami. At the very end Jake gave me a hug, which is incredibly significant because Jake literally does not give me hugs ever, and then we all drowned. Then I woke up. Crying because obviously I was. I literally don’t know why I had that dream, but like I instantly texted my family group chat and told the three of them that I love them all so much. Fuck that was really messed up.

After attempted and failing to go back to sleep, I used the bathroom and then played some music, as I closed my eyes and tried one more time to fall asleep. Luckily this time it worked and I woke up two hours later, feeling much better. No family dying dreams this time. Though in this dream I think I met back up with W, so was it really much better? Anyways, I got up, got dressed, and finally pushed myself to do my laundry, before heading out to get food. As I did all of this, I gave Maggie a call, not only so she could keep me company on my trip for food, but also because I had to tell someone about this fucking dream. I was going to go to Subway, but there’s some renovation happening, so I actually ended up going to Taco Bell. I got my food, and then headed back home to eat and relax for the rest of the day. I finished my laundry and watched “Oh, Hello”, on Netflix, and then played League the rest of the day. I did do a little drawing, and ended up sketching Hei Hei from Moana.

I planned on playing some more League, but after writing the cover of the letter I’m going to send to W, (the names and addresses on the front of the envelope), I decided to say fuck it and just write the whole letter. And let me tell you- I did not think that I had written too too much, but I was very quickly proven wrong. Like I am genuinely impressed I managed to fit everything onto that card. Like I got halfway through and was like “Uh oh. This is not good.” My handwriting went from like maybe a medium to an extra extra small. I really hope she’ll actually be able to read it. I did write neatly for once in my life though, so I pray it’ll be okay. Maggie and I actually ended up playing some League tonight as well, so as we went through a couple games, I actually finished up writing the letter, and even did a drawing on the front and back of the envelope. I won’t show the front obviously, but the featured image is the back of the card. Not to bad if I do say so myself. Tomorrow is my final training day, so I want to get some sleep and be ready. I want to do well and learn as much as I can, because starting Friday, the training is over, and I start working full time as a server. I can do this.

Until next time,



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