Is The Next Level Still Loading? Can I Just Skip This Part? (5/20/19)

So if it hasn’t been made clear yet- I play video games. A lot. Technically I normally play one game very regularly, aka League of Legends, but I do branch off on occasion, whether it’s Minecraft or Tomb Raider or Spider-Man or anything in between. But my mind sometimes just sees my life as stages in a video game. And I know that things are going to happen, but right now I feel like I’m in that part of a video game, or even a movie, (since I also watch a lot of those), where it says “one month later” or “five months later” or whatever it may be. Except right now I feel like I’m stuck in that time frame of waiting for the next exciting thing to happen in my life. Don’t get me wrong, Saturday was unexpected and a lot of fun, and so was Sunday, but now I’m back to the mindless routine. I mean I went back to work today, and almost immediately wished I wasn’t there. I’ve been canvasing on the streets of New York for not even three months yet, and I know that I’m not performing to standards. I haven’t really since I started the job. And I am trying to get better, but I feel like I just don’t have the right personality for the job.

Now don’t get me wrong, I still have fun with the job and I still work hard every day, but after coming from working a party yesterday and feeling confident in my serving abilities, to going back to this and feeling like I’m worthless at this job; it’s not a great feeling, you know? And I know everyone feels this way about a point in their lives, and maybe someone reading this feels the exact same way I do. It’s like, I know things will get better. They have to. But right now, the waiting? That’s what’s killing me. And I am trying to have fun while I wait for the next stage to load, but I just want to get to that next part of the game, the next part of the story where I start working as an actor full time, or I at least start a job where I am not completely garbage, or I actually have a decent love life and am dating someone who makes me happy; which to be fair, I had until this month, where all the things I did wrong in the relationship came to fruition and I lost the girl I loved. Really good job on my part. Also side note, I keep overthinking things and it is extremely frustrating, because she changed her profile picture from the one I took of her in DC, to one of her and her cute cat, and of course that small thing made my brain run rampant. But she also used a picture I took of her and her friends in a photo album she posted, so my overthinking brain has been trying to figure out the nonexistent connections there. Anyways, so what happened today?

I mean I woke up, showered, and got to work on time, as per usual; and after pitching two different people and us meeting as a group, my team made our move down to Union Square. Unfortunately when we got there, we ran into another team who had chosen the site, so we decided to move to 14th and 9th instead for the day, (Chelsea Market). It’s right next to that new Starbucks Reserve Roastery, which we ended up checking out and holy MOly was it insanely nice. The picture I’m using as my featured image truly doesn’t do this massive place justice. Like, three floors, with a bunch of giant coffee grinders, a giant unisex bathroom with individual stalls; like this place was beyond crazy. Anyway- After we left there, we got to work. And for the first half of the day, there really wasn’t anything to report. It was beautiful outside, but there were so many people, especially tourists, coming in and out of Chelsea Market that it made it hard for me to stop anyone at all. By the time we left for lunch, we only ended up getting one sign up as a team. Now the thing that made my day was that there was this man asking for money, but instead of the usual spiel, he asked if anyone could spare $100 so he could “get laid and get some pizza”. And honestly? I gotta respect the hustle. This dude got his priorities in check and he is going for what he wants.

For lunch we went to the Simply Salad a street down, and then we switched sites to the Google building, which is on 14th and 8th. Now for the second half of the day, I still didn’t manage to get anyone, but as a team we honestly just had a lot of fun; messing around with each other. I also found out today that new Google employees are called “Noogles”, and honestly that word, even though it doesn’t have any offensive meaning behind it, made me uncomfortable. But yeah we all kind of went delusional, which my team leader asking if people wanted to meet and play with his Noogle (aka me), and Josh telling people that he just woke up like this. It was a bizarre end of the day, but finally 6:30 rolled around and we all went home. Well I didn’t; I had some errands to run.

I got on the A and went to 59th St., where I stopped by the TJ Maxx because I’ve been running low on one of my face routine products; called Glow. It’s basically just a serum that has vitamins in it to help your face look brighter and healthier. Now when i went in, they had changed everything up again, and didn’t seem to have the brand I used. Luckily they seemed to have one that did the same thing, so I picked that up along with some Witch Hazel, which W raved and raved about while we were dating, and I headed on home. By the time I got back to my apartment, it was hitting closer to 8PM. Now instead of playing League like normal, I decided to start up Persona 5, and I’ve spent the rest of tonight playing it. So far, it is a lot of fun, and the animation style is incredible. Apparently you can easily get 80+ hours out of this game, so we’ll see how much free time I have in the coming weeks. Either way, I gotta get some sleep; tomorrow is a new day, and I really hope I can make up for today and actually sign some people up. Also I really hope that Green Olive reaches out so we can have a meeting, and I can put in my two weeks and start making some real money. Because I hate how broke I am at the moment. But that’s just life, right? (Pray for me PLEASe)

Until next time,


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