Searching for the Secret to Being “A Subtle Asshole (5/17/19)

So I’m writing this blog the day after, being my brother Jake and I ended up playing Pixelmon for a solid 5.5 hours last night, and I really needed to get some sleep; I’m meeting with my manager to review my performance at Emma’s Torch at 3PM. Will I get fired? Who knows. Anyways, on to the day.

So a phrase was mentioned by one of my colleagues yesterday while we fund raised, about how you need to be an asshole at this job to get people to stop. Now there are different types of asshole, but the one he is on the job is “a subtle asshole”. Someone you don’t realize is being so incredibly pushy until you stop and think about it. While other fundraisers are very much in the public’s face to get someone to stop, he doesn’t do that. He keeps everything much more relaxed and casual, and it works. After hearing this, I decided to give it a shot and have been practicing that sort of approach, all the while being pushier with people, through the end of the day into yesterday. Now yesterday began like most other days; I showered, got dressed, and headed to work by 9AM, getting there by 9:25, greeting my team, and starting the day. Today there was a competition going on between the NYC and the other offices in the country, pitted up by team. My team was against the L.A. office, who’s top performance this week was 6, which was actually our top performance as well as a team. With that mission in mind, we all headed out, with my team going to Bowling Green.

I was loving the day, because for a while it was ideal fundraising conditions; warm but cloudy, so I wasn’t getting burnt to a crisp out there. After a slow start, we hit the ground running, and I managed to even get one before 1 o’clock, being more pushy and assertive. (The subtle asshole approach) By the time lunch rolled in, we hit a one average, clocking in at four as a team. We headed to grab some lunch at a buffet style place, where lunch was half price at the buffet starting at 2:30; perfect timing. I piled my Tupperware high, and ended up spending $13 on my food and a drink; but hey, it was a lot of food. The other three didn’t like what they got as much, but I enjoyed mine and cleaned my plate.. er Tupperware. It wasn’t incredible food, but after living off of college cafeteria food for four years, I didn’t care. When lunch was over, we headed back and started working; at least that was the goal. One of my team members had to leave early, so he grabbed his second donor and skedaddled, but not after being confused and annoyed by a lady who didn’t want to hear his “spiel”. She told him that before lunch, but he still couldn’t get over it. To be fair, he had no idea was that word meant, but he was offended anyway. Our other teammate left at the same time, because he hadn’t been feeling well all day, and needed to go home. That left me and my team leader to try and get the final three. He picked up one more through the next few hours, but despite my more aggressive efforts, I fell flat. Not that I didn’t have fun; Honestly I felt more confident in my performance today than in the past few weeks, but it still sucked falling flat. The sporadic rain throughout the earlier portion of the day, and the threat of rain at the end, didn’t help any. We ended up leaving site a little early, by 6PM, and parted ways.

I hopped on the train and headed home, ready to be in my apartment relaxing finally. Oh, I also forgot to mention- my friend Andrew offered me a gig on Sunday, which is just a 5 hour catering party for $100 cash, so you know I’ll be doing that. Anyway, the night ended with me playing Pixelmon, which is basically Pokemon in Minecraft for just over five and a half hours. Like we had so much fun, even if the time was leaning towards 5AM. Now I have to go and shower so I can leave for Emma’s Torch. Will I get fired? What will happen? I have no damn idea. All I know is that I need to do laundry tonight, as well as hang out with my friend. Wish me luck.

Until next time,


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