A Day Off with a Lack of Will to Pursue Life to its Fullest- But Go Vote! (11/5/18)

I wish there was more to report on for today. I wish I had done much, much more. I dunno, I feel like days like today, I become very down on myself, since I choose to ignore the outside world, in exchange for some selfish peace and quiet. I hoped to have some breakfast with my dad before he left New York, but when I awoke at 9:45, he had texted me, letting me know that they were tight on time and had to leave immediately. Of course I understood, and let him know that I loved him, and hoped he made it home safe. Even though I didn’t get to say goodbye properly, it was really nice seeing him this weekend, and I’m going to see him again at the end of the month for Thanksgiving, so it will be alright. I’m so grateful to be living here in the city, traveling on the path towards my dream; attempting to make it a reality, but I do really miss my family. When I’m working I don’t really have time to think about them, or anything else for that matter, but when I have days off like this, it does dawn on me that I am truly alone. Well, sort of. Of course I have friends in the city, and I talk to my sister all the time, as well as my dad and brother occasionally, but it’s not the same. I’ve realized that this is going to be the first year where I may not be able to celebrate New Years with them. Maybe I’ll be able to get off of work, but I’m not sure. I would love to be in the city to watch the ball drop, but I would really miss them. We welcome in the new year every year together, setting off fireworks into the night sky. I love it. I am beyond grateful for my family; they have always watched over me and stood by me, cheering me on- despite how crazy my dream may seem.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to truly pay my dad back for the kindness and love he has shown me for all of my life, but I feel the only way to pay him back is to not fail; to succeed and give it all I’ve got. To not only reach for the stars, but grab onto them and hold on with all my might. But days like today make me feel like I’m stuck in quicksand; like I should be moving but I can’t. When I finally got up today, I had one goal in mind- I needed to mail my ballot and vote. I think voting is the most important thing that everyone can do to make a difference in this country, and this is the first time that I’ve made a push to vote in the midterms, to really try and create a change in this country. I’m going to be keeping a close eye on the polls today, because things could get interesting.

After finally getting up close to 2PM, I jumped in the shower, got ready, and made my way to the nearest post office. It was raining, so I put up my hood and walked through the wet day, all the way down to the post office. Once I got inside, there was a line stretching all the way to the door. At first I stood in the line, unsure of what everyone was in line for, before realizing they were all people picking up packages. Luckily I was trying to mail a package, so I stepped out of line and across the way to try and figure out what I needed to do. After standing around awkwardly for five minutes or so, I noticed a self service machine, and decided to give that a try. After waiting behind a few people for a good 15 minutes, I finally got to use the machine. It was pretty simple- I just weighed my letter, paid for the postage, and I was good to go. After paying and putting some postage on the letter, I sent it off and was on my way. You have to go out and vote everyone. It is so important.

On my way back, I ended up deciding on going to Taco Bell for some late lunch. I would eat something at home, but I really need to pick up some veggies, or it’s not really worth it. I got a steak quesadilla and hard shell taco combo, and was on my way. I made it home, and have spent the rest of the day playing League. I know I should’ve been doing something else today, because I lost all but one or two of my games, and I’ve been playing for HOURS; Definitely an easy way to ruin my day. I was hoping to grab a drink with some friends, but both of them were busy, so I was stuck in my room for the night. Close to 10PM, I of course went to Subway to pick up the usual for dinner, and headed home to continue playing, and losing, some League games. To finish off the night, I decided to watch the first episode of The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina on Netflix, and so far- it’s peaked my interest. It’s only the first episode, so they were setting the series up, but it seems interesting. It has a real Halloween vibe to it, so I wish I had started the series earlier, but that’s okay. Now that I’m going to sleep, I think I want to start making a list of things I have to do every day, so I have a goal in mind, instead of winging it. I am working tomorrow, since another server needed the shift covered so she could vote. (and hey, I wouldn’t mind an extra day to make some money) As for the rest of the week? Who knows. I don’t work otherwise until Friday, so I should definitely get something done. Maybe I’ll finally get a gym membership, or order an actual TV stand, since my TV has just been sitting on a box for the past few months. I also need a bed frame, but maybe I’ll save that for another time. But for now, sleep.

Until next time,


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