I wish I could’ve made this blog more about my day today. I mean I ended up waking up around 10:30AM, and playing League for most of the day with my twin’s boyfriend, before going to pick up my credit card from At The Wallace. I wish I could talk more about going shopping at Target on 34th St., just to get some more lotion for my skin. (That’s right, you know damn well that I try and take care of my skin; especially on my face) Or talk about the fact that I had continued conversations with a woman named Emily from blogerize.com, saying she wanted to help me improve my blog for free, and once their done, I provide a testimonial. Now don’t get me wrong, I am skeptical about it, but I’ve decided to trust this person for now, and hopefully it all turns out well. I’m actually going to be combining my website and my blog into one; or rather she is going to do it, and I will work from there. I’m not sure what’s going to turn out, and if this ends up being one of my last blogs because it’s all a scam and I have to shut everything down, so be it. Again that is a wild scenario, and hopefully it won’t come to that. Again, those are all exciting and interesting things. I even ended the night making some food– really basic, just rice, green beans, chicken, sauce, salad, guac and chips. I wanted to go on and on about all of those things, but I can’t.
I just got word from my dad today that one of our two cats, Luna, has cancer in her jaw, and is dying. They just removed a few of her teeth today, because she wasn’t able to eat, and found the tumor. I hope she won’t pass away before I make it home for the holidays, but she is dying. The cancer has spread too far into her organs, and there is no way to fix it now. Maybe some people just look at their pet as a pet, and when the animal dies the person becomes sad for a day and moves on. Hopefully that is not the majority of people though. I know that’s not how I am, or how I feel right now. We got Luna and Gus 10 years ago; the same year my mom died. She was actually the one who came with us to pick them both out. I remember the day we went to the foster home, and we met Gus who was with his two brothers in an open cage right in the living room. He was only 3 months old at the time, and was so full of life; still is to this day honestly. One of the craziest cats I’ve ever met. Then they brought out Luna. She was an eight month old calico, and they had been keeping her, her sister, and their mother in a back room in the dark. She seemed really nervous around people and hated to be picked up, but she loved the attention. She loved, and still loves more than anything, being pet, and being with people. This is followed closely by eating and sleeping. Like holy fuck this cat can eat a lot. I remember when we adopted them, we were told that Gus was going to grow up to be this big bruiser of a cat, and Luna was going to be thin and delicate. 10 years later, Gus is skinny and running around everywhere; definitely not a bruiser, and Luna is quite the tubby kitty. She loves her some dry food.
Now Gus can be an annoyance at times, because he will like to randomly pee on any clothes, or towels, or anything he can find that is laying on the ground. We’ve tried to figure out why he does it, and we still can’t totally figure him out. Luna on the other hand doesn’t do that. She can be obnoxious at times, because if she wants attention, or you’re not paying attention to her, she will meow very loudly at you until you pet her. It is damn annoying, but it’s what makes her her and I love it. I’ve decided to make things easier and just use names from here on out, because being vague is boring. So I have a twin sister named Maggie, a brother named Jake, and then there’s my dad. Now Maggie and I have moved out of the house this summer, me going to NYC, and Maggie moving in with her longterm boyfriend, Devon. Honestly he’s such an amazing person (way too good for her). Now since we’ve been gone and my dad is usually visiting his girlfriend out of state, that leaves Jake alone to take care of the cats. He has grown such an amazing bond with Luna, where he will just sit on the couch and watch videos on his computer, and she will curl up right in his lap, purring away. It is so heartwarming and pure… until she accidentally pokes one of her claws into him, because again, she doesn’t like being picked up, so it is near impossible to clip her claws.
Luna and Gus are part of my family, and although they get on our nerves at times, they’re family and we all love them both so much. My mom was always so amazing at picking out the perfect pets to add to our family, and these two are no exception. They may not be the brightest, but they are filled with so much love and compassion that it shines through. And now we’re going to have to say goodbye to one of them. Luckily Gus is perfectly healthy, but I can’t imagine what this is going to do to him. When my dad texted us today about it, I was getting ready to leave, and just felt this wave of sadness rush over me. I tried to make light of the situation, cracking a joke how her shoveling food in her mouth for so long has finally caught up to her, (I use humor in an attempt to help ease the pain), but it didn’t help. I tried to move past it, and continued forward with my day. I tried my best not to think about it, and made sure I got everything done. But then tonight I was talking to Maggie about it when we were playing League, and I felt the wave of sadness crash over me again. I felt like I was about to cry the entire time, but managed to hold it in; I really don’t cry much anymore. Since mom died, I will find very few instances really pull my heart strings enough to cause me to cry. But as I began writing this blog, I started crying, and honestly have not really stopped this entire time. My heart is shattered right now. I know she’s still alive, but the fact that she is going through this and will pass… it hurts beyond words. All I wish is that she is alive when I come back home for Christmas, so I can at least say goodbye.
Love those around you as hard as you can for as long as you can, because you don’t know when they will be gone. I think I said something along the lines of this when I wrote the blogpost about my mom, but it still hold true.
Luna, thank you for being the most incredible, kind, and loving cat, and thank you for being part of my family. I love you.
(Both pictures taken by my dad; the first just of Luna, and then the second with Luna and Gus)