Today I somehow dragged myself out of bed at 8:00AM, took a shower, got dressed, and caught the 8:45AM train to work. I ended up arriving at 9:50, and began prepping for the day. (I still managed to be the first person there, besides chef, which is nice) I immediately began sweeping and mopping– making sure the restaurant was ready to open at 11:00. I hadn’t eaten yet today, since of course I didn’t give myself enough time, so I made sure to finish cleaning a good 15 minutes before we opened, so I could run next store and buy myself a sandwich. I ended up buying a BLT, which is still always my go-to for breakfast sandwiches. The good news is that it was only $3. The bad news is that when I went to pay with my card, it turns out they have a $10 card minimum, so I broke my $20 that I was saving for laundry. I took the sandwich back, scarfed it down, and the day began.
Work itself was pretty slow today. It never got insanely busy, but I am proud to say that I sold a surprising amount of wine, beer, and Mimosas, at least for a Brunch. It seemed like at a good 75% of my tables, there was at least one person drinking. The number was definitely lower than that, but the fact that a decent amount of people were actually drinking during Brunch is always nice. As we winded down to close for Brunch at 3:00PM, we had a table of 3 enter at 2:57. Now look- I understand your hungry. And I understand you may not have known that we close in 3 minutes. And don’t get me wrong, if you arrive before we close, we will serve you. But come on people; don’t be that person. You never want to be that person. So just don’t. We reopen at 5:00– come back then! We will happily serve you. Either way, they got their meal, and got out by around 3:30 or 3:40. I cleaned up the restaurant and made sure everything looked good for dinner, and finally clocked out and sat down, excited for family meal. I can’t describe exactly what the meal was, but I will say that although it was heavy (it was a sauce with different veggies placed on a flatbread with cheese on top), it tasted amazing as always.
I finally headed home at around 5:00, feeling full and sleepy from all the food. As I rode the train back, I ended up falling asleep for a good 15-20 minutes, which was good, because by the time I sat down on the train and we started moving, I felt exhausted. Once I got back home, I got into my room, and of course played some League for a good 2 hours or so, before deciding it was time to do laundry and get some food. I wasn’t crazy hungry, so my plan was to just eat cereal for dinner. Here’s the thing: I have milk in the fridge that I found out expired 3 days ago. I decided to use it anyway. Needless to say, I did not eat much of that bowl of the cereal, and my stomach has been too happy with me since then. I then moved on to some laundry. I put $15 on my laundry card, and put in my two loads, (darks and colors, because damn straight I sort my laundry). I then began watching a comedy special that was recommended by Philip DeFranco (fantastic Youtuber), with comedian Daniel Sloss. He had two specials, and over the course of the night, I ended up watching both of them. I wasn’t sure what type of humor he’d go for, but I was instantly hooked, because like me, he uses pretty dark humor. But even though they were comedy specials, there were multiple, very real moments in between the humor. One of the biggest things I related to was when he was discussing death.
I am going to label this next part a spoiler. If you haven’t watched the first special yet, please do. The second comedy special doesn’t have anything spoiler’y, but the first one does, and I don’t want to ruin the experience. Now that you’ve been warned, about half way through the comedy special, he mentions that he had a younger sister who had cerebral palsy, and who died when he was 9. As some of you may know from my post called “Happy Birthday Mom”, my mother passed away when I was 12. It’s such an interesting age in your life, because your finally beginning to understand emotion, and then you get thrust with this shit. It’s very tough, but the way he talked about it was absolutely amazing, and something I have always related to. He talked about how now he always makes jokes about it, and how he loves getting to the punchline where he tells the audience that his sister’s dead, because of their reactions. I am that type of person that makes dead mom jokes to my friends, and even to some acquaintances, because their reactions are priceless. As Daniel Sloss said in his special: Laughter is not the opposite of sadness. Happiness is the opposite of sadness. Laughter is something you can use to cope with the sadness you feel. And it’s something that I have always used, and will continue to use throughout my life, because it works for me. It makes me feel better. He also talked about how hearing “Sorry” over and over again from random people you don’t know can become very tiresome and annoying. You want everything around you to be the same, because you need to cope with what just happened, but nothing around you will be the same, because you just lost a family member. My biggest rule is that if anyone I know loses a loved one, I always let them know that I am here, and then I treat everything like normal. Because that’s what I wanted. I didn’t want people berating me with “I’m Sorry” ‘s. That shit won’t bring them back. Nothing will. All you can do is continue moving forward, and deal with your emotions as they come.
Another point that he made in his second comedy special was about love, and how we have romanticized this notion of love, and how awful it is. The biggest thing that he pointed out however, was how hard it is if you wake up one day and you realize that you’re not in love with your significant other any more. This rang so true to me because the first person that I loved was a girl that I met when we both happened to be studying abroad in England for a semester my junior year. We started dating at the beginning of the semester, and the relationship lasted just under 6 months. I was so incredibly happy then, and loved her so incredibly much. I still do, in some aspects, (which I will tell you, fucked up my relationship after, which was fun). The relationship ended one day when she called me and told me she didn’t love me anymore, and that we were over. I was completely speechless and heartbroken. She had told me previously that something was missing, but I never thought it would get to this point. But when Daniel Sloss began talking about how hard it is to wake up and feel this way, I began to finally look from her perspective; how she felt. This is someone, by the way, that I am still friends with, and who I would like to continue to try and be friends. It was definitely eye opening to look from a different perspective on how hard the breakup was for her, and how she must’ve felt, telling me this news. I am grateful, however, that she didn’t try and force those feelings down and we stayed together, even if she was unhappy. I could never have that. I care about her to much for that ever to be the case. One final point he had that I resinated with was the fact that if you only love yourself 20%, and then someone comes along and loves you 30%, you will feel like they are the greatest person. But at the end of the day, that’s less than half, and that is not good enough. For someone to love you, you must first learn to love yourself. Don’t be in a relationship because you feel you have to to be happy. Do it because you truly love the person. If they try to change who you are, or don’t accept every part of you, then they are not worth your time or energy. Break up with them ASAP.
It’s now 1:16AM, and I have finally finished my laundry for the night, and even ended up throwing shade on Twitter at a different ex, who low key shit talks me on Twitter all the time. It may have not been my proudest moment, but I am not mad I did it. I really don’t like when people shit talk me behind my back. Say it to my face, and let’s talk. Anyway, tomorrow is another day at work, so I really need some sleep. I love you all.
Until next time,