Today I woke up at 7:30AM, prepped to be called by my temp agency with some last minute work, but after waiting a few hours to no call, I fell back asleep. Honestly the amount of sleep I’ve been able to get the past to days has really helped bring me back to life. Some people may be able to exist without much sleep, but I am not one of those people; I need my sleep. When I eventually woke up, I stared at the time blankly, and rolled back into bed. I’m not going to do anything today, am I? “Survey says, No!” my thoughts replied. But that’s okay. I don’t mind not doing anything for a day or two. As long as it doesn’t become a habit I’m alright with it. I was, however, emailed back from a therapist I had been consulting about starting therapy. It’s not something I’ve ever done before, but after friends and exes alike have told me that I should probably see one, I decided to reach out to one recommended by a friend. While I awaited her call, I headed out to a local Subway to grab some quick food. I wasn’t in the mood to cook anything today, and wasn’t planning on buying groceries until I paid my rent for the month, so a sandwich would have to do for lunch and dinner. And I gotta say, it was damn good.
I got back and after a few minutes I received a call from her. I answered, and we began talking about why I was looking into therapy, and what had been troubling me. I never mind sharing my life to people, but this was still an interesting experience. I wasn’t sure how a trained professional would react to everything I’ve gone through over the years. But she was very understanding, and patiently listened as I rambled on for a good 15-20 minutes. Now although I have never seen a therapist before, besides Bridges with my family after my mom passed, I have never been against the idea. Many of my friends go to see therapists and say it helps. And if you are going through some shit, I think it’s better to talk to a trained professional about what’s going on, instead of trying to deal with it all by yourself. That’s what my dad does, and that’s what I always seem to do, and that’s not healthy. But it’s how we’ve always handled things, so it’s just the norm for me. And I’ve turned out alright, for the most part. When the call ended, she gave me the number of her assistant, so I could set up an appointment when she returns. Stay tuned for the potential shit-fest that that could turn out to be. After that, I’ve just been playing video games, aka League of Legends (LoL) for the rest of the night. The game is honestly where I get and release most of my anger. Probably not too healthy for my mental state, but it is what it is. Tomorrow is a new day, and may be the first day in a bit that I get work from the temp agency. If I don’t get work, I may head over to my college to visit some friends, since school has finally started back up for them.
Side note, it is one of the most surreal and weird feelings, knowing that I’m never going to attend school again. The fact that I’m not going back, attending class, auditioning for the semester’s plays, and hanging out with friends daily; eating the usually shitty cafeteria food, is crazy. But it is now the reality that I’m living, and I’m glad to be where I am now.
Until next time,