Today began my first of four shifts in a row, which I figured to be my four days in Hell. I was prepped for the worst today, but came out of it incredibly relaxed and happy. I’m writing this blog the next day, because I chose to stay up until 5AM having a good conversation with a friend, but that’s beside the point. So let’s get down to what happened. The day began with me checking Backstage, to find that there are auditions coming up at the beginning of September for a production of Fun Home. Though I had listened to a few of the songs before, it’s definitely not a musical that has been on my radar, so of course I spent the day binging the music for the show. Once I got to work, it would be another 2-3 hours before customers began strolling in the door, so I was able to just relax and enjoy myself as I cleaned up the restaurant with the rest of the employees of Emma’s Torch. There was even a new playlist that was running, which perfectly described the mood of the day. No idea what that playlist was, but I was loving it. The family meal at the restaurant that day was even pizza, so obviously I was living my best life. As the night progressed, the flow of the restaurant was steady; busy, but easy-going, where I thrive. The tables were understanding and happy, which kept me going and most importantly, kept me positive.
Something I’ve been grappling with since I began working at the restaurant is how to deal with stress, when I screw up. I’ve always been able to handle situations when I had no control, and just had to do what I could to ease the situation, but in days past since I began working as a server here, if I screwed up it would begin to eat away at me. No one likes being the reason a customer is unhappy. The issue with beating yourself up over a mistake that, though is annoying, can be fixed, is the domino affect that follows. As you begin to criticize yourself, it begins to affect your performance, and you begin to over-analyze every little thing you do, until you break. That almost happened a week ago, when I became extremely overwhelmed, and if not for the amazing people working with me, I probably would’ve cracked and broken down that night. But it’s a new day, and I realized in the moment where I did screw up, because I’m human and things happen, that even though I screwed up, I couldn’t let it affect my work. I didn’t have the time to worry about a screw up that was now out of my hands and being handled by the kitchen. Everything was going to be fine; I just had to keep moving. I also got lucky with the fact that the customer was incredibly understanding, and was still delighted when the food arrived.
As the night came to a close and I headed home, the one issue I faced was with the subway, where, because of some issue that had just occurred, it ended up taking me between an hour and 15 minutes, to an hour and 30 minutes to finally get back to my apartment. But that didn’t matter. What mattered was the fact that I was proud of myself and how I handled the situation. I’m coming to realize that no matter what the situation, whether it’s work, or an audition, or just life in general, a lot of the battle of every day life is your mindset. Life will always fling shit at you; if it didn’t, then your life would be boring, and that’s no fun. What matters is how you react to those situations. You can let them affect you, and let every little thing eat away at you until you are nothing, or you can take it in strides and keep walking. It’s okay to accept that you messed up, but you can’t let it hurt you and get you down. At least, that’s what I think.
Until next time,